Family Resemblance by LMH (POEM)

Family Resemblance

Wow! From certain angles,
we look startling alike.

We have the same profile,
the same expressions.

Why do you wrinkle your nose,
the way that I do?

Gasp! You like coffee
with a tiny pinch of salt too?

Soulmates! We think. Until,
we realise belatedly that...

We are actually first cousins
who have not met for
the last ten years.

We stare at the family resemblance,
awed and sigh inwardly that beyond it,
we are completely unconnected.

©Free verse poem written by Lin MH, 30 May 2014. All original content. Please do not reproduce in any form or anywhere else without getting explicit written permission from the writer of this piece of work. Plagiarism is a crime.

What Your Mom Knows About Success That You Should Too by Daniel Wong

What Your Mom Knows About Success That You Should Too

May 11, 2014 By Daniel Wong

[All Credits go to the original writer, Daniel Wong. All Credits go to him and his website. All information is shared respectfully with no intention to infringe any rights. Please visit Daniel Wong's personal website for the whole article.]

[I found the article profoundly meaningful and delight in sharing his article with you. The parts that I like most are highlighted in yellow. :) Again, please refer to Daniel Wong's website for the original article and for more of his interesting and valuable posts.] 

The motherhood guide to success

These are four things that moms know, which we’d be wise to learn too.

1. People are counting on you.

Eat. Sleep. Pee. Poop. Repeat. The life of a baby is pretty enviable, huh?

Babies are entirely reliant on their parents. Babies left on their own without a caregiver wouldn’t survive. Moms understand this, and respond right away when they hear their baby’s cries. (Dads respond quickly too, but probably not as immediately as moms.) When your baby is counting on you, you don’t want to let him or her down.

In a similar way, people are counting on you too. The world is counting on you. To contribute. To learn. To grow. To face your fears. To persevere. To make a difference. To care.

It’s a quiet cry compared to the earsplitting screams of a baby, but it’s equally urgent. Although they don’t realize it, other people’s lives are worse off when we cruise along, choosing mediocrity over excellence, pleasure over purpose, the easy way over the best way. We’re not adding value to their lives in the way we would have if we’d put our heart and soul into being the best we could be.

2. The small things matter.

A couple of random things I’ve learned about taking care of a baby:

• When you swaddle a baby, you need to make the swaddle tight enough so he can’t wriggle out, but not so tight that it’ll cause him pain. It’s a much finer line than you might think.
• The angle at which you tilt the milk bottle during feeding matters. You need to get it right, if not your baby will become gassy. Not good.
• The teat size of the milk bottle affects your baby’s gassiness levels too. Who knew?!

Moms understand that these small things matter, as do many, many others. In contrast, dads tend to be a bit more big-picture—that’s definitely true for me. The difference is illustrated below:

In life, the small things matter too: proofreading a report one more time before you submit it, writing a simple thank-you note, resisting the urge to say something unkind even though you really feel like it, refusing to tell a lie even if nobody would ever find out.

I still struggle with these kinds of “little” temptations, the ones that seem so innocuous.

But I’m reminded that every decision we make—small or not so small—determines our destiny, a destiny that’s not built in a day, but rather day by day.

3. You can’t only do the things you feel like doing.

Getting up in the middle of the night to feed you, every night for months. Changing your dirty diapers 10 times a day. Soothing you when you wailed.

These are just some of the things your mom did for you, even though she didn’t feel like it. She did what needed to be done, regardless of how she felt.

This kind of attitude runs contrary to the kind of advice we often hear:

• “If you don’t like what you’re doing, quit.”
• “If you’re not passionate about it, why do it?”
• “Eliminate everything that’s making you unhappy.”
• “If you find what you’re called to do, it won’t feel like work.”

Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for being happy and discovering your passion and finding work that’s both enjoyable and rewarding. But it’s unrealistic, and even irrational, to think that finding your passion will instantly make your life fine and dandy. After all, the Latin root word for “passion” is pati, which means “to endure” or “to suffer.” Passion and perseverance go hand in hand.

[This ties in with my previous post on BEING CONSCIENTIOUS. It is paramount that we move forward, step by step; even if the steps are tiny, wobbly baby steps... Go forth. Be brave. Be determined.]

Life is often more about doing the things you don’t feel like doing, than about doing the things you do feel like doing. You might not feel like studying, or going to work, or keeping your promises, or getting out of your comfort zone, or sucking up your pride and apologizing. But these are the kinds of choices that ultimately define our lives.

4. You can waste, use or invest your resources. Choose to invest them.

Moms, and parents in general, sacrificially invest in their kids. When it comes to nutrition, education and love, they don’t spare anything on their kids’ development.

A mentor of mine once shared with me that your resources can either be wasted, used orinvested. The last option is the best, but it’s often the hardest to do because it requires long-term thinking in the face of short-term demands.

So let’s be intentional about investing our time, talent and money in ways that benefit others and add value to the people around us.

Shout-out to all moms

My mom has had a huge impact on me. She has shown by her example what it means to lead a life of kindness, commitment, courage and love. I sometimes wonder how messed up I’d be if my mom wasn’t my mom. Love you, Mom! 

For many of you, I’m sure your mom has had a similar influence in your life. So if you’re a mom reading this, I want to thank you. You show the rest of us what it takes to be successful, but more than that you show us what it means to love unconditionally and sacrificially.

Happy Mother’s Day again!

***************************

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[Thank you to the Original Author, Daniel Wong, for penning such a meaningful post that makes us think about how we can be better people by emulating the woman who has given us life after going through the challenges of pregnancy and the excruciating pain of childbirth.]

Truly, it's all about being CONSCIENTIOUS!

I knew it all along! This article just confirms that, truly, being CONSCIENTIOUS is certainly important in the journey towards success of any sort. Be it learning how to cook, playing a musical instrument, learning a new language, keeping the house clean..., it's all about being conscientious in order to reap the fruits of your labour. 

Let's celebrate the VIRTUES of DILIGENCE,CONSCIENTIOUSNESS and PERSEVERANCE! :) :) 


This Is The Personality Trait That Most Often Predicts SuccessBy Drake Baer | Business Insider – Wed, Apr 30, 2014 11:32 PM SGT
http://www.businessinsider.sg/conscientiousness-predicts-success-2014-4/#.U2kBwvQW1_c
(All Credits go to Original Author and Original Website. All Rights are respected and go to Original Author and Website.)
The only major personality trait that consistently leads to success is  conscientiousness. 

"It's emerging as one of the primary dimensions of successful functioning across the lifespan," Paul Tough writes in "How Children Succeed." "It  really goes cradle to grave in terms of how people do."

Tough says that people who test high in conscientiousness get better grades in school and college, commit fewer crimes, and stay married longer.

They live longer, too, he says. And not just because they smoke and drink less. They have fewer strokes, lower blood pressure, and a lower incidence of Alzheimer's disease.

There's a staggering amount of research linking conscientiousness with success. A National Institute of Mental Health study found that conscientious men earn higher salaries. The National Institute on Aging also found that conscientiousness is linked to income and job satisfaction. Other studies show that conscientiousness is the most important factor for finding and retaining employment. 

How do you know if you're conscientious? Conscientious people tend to be super organized, responsible, and plan ahead. They work hard in the face of challenges and can control their impulses. 

Psychologists classify conscientiousness is one of the "Big 5" personality traits, with the others being agreeableness, extroversion, neuroticism, and openness to experience. The other traits can predict certain workplace outcomes — extroversion is a great fit for highly social gigs like sales and openness to experience often leads to creativity — but  conscientiousness is remarkable for the way it cuts across roles.

Research shows that arriving on time, doing thorough work, and being thoughtful toward your colleagues helps people regardless of their job function or workplace situation.  "Being on top of deadlines is almost universally a good thing," one industrial psychologist told us.

Moreover, within conscientiousness are the narrower traits of self control and "grit," which University of Pennsylvania  psychologist Angela Duckworth has found to be more integral to children's scholarly success than IQ.

Why conscientiousness people are so successful
"Highly conscientious  employees do a series of things better than the rest of us," says University of Illinois psychologist Brent Roberts, who studies conscientiousness.

To start, they're better at goals: setting them, working toward them, and persisting amid setbacks. If a super ambitious goal can't be realized, they'll switch to a more attainable one rather than getting discouraged and giving up. As a result, they tend to achieve goals that are consistent with what employers want.

Roberts also owes their success to "hygiene" factors. Conscientious people have a tendency to organize their lives well. A disorganized, un-conscientious person might lose 20 or 30 minutes rooting through their files to find the right document, an inefficient experience conscientious folks tend to avoid. Basically, by being conscientious, people sidestep stress they'd otherwise create for themselves.  

Being conscientious "is like brushing your teeth," Roberts says. "It prevents problems from arising."

Conscientious people also like to follow rules and norms. You can spot the conscientious kids in the classroom. They sit in their chairs, don't complain, and don't act out — which also, of course, contributes to earning good grades from teachers. While conscientiousness doesn't correlate with high SAT scores, it does predict high GPAs. 

To spot conscientious people at work, Roberts says to look for punctuality. If someone shows up on time, that's a great clue toward conscientiousness, since a punctual person has to be organized enough — and care enough — to arrive on time.

The bigger, and less visible, indicator is how people deal with setbacks. Do they give up and redouble their efforts?

"The conscientious person is going to have a plan," Roberts says. "Even if there is a failure, they're going to have a plan to deal with that failure."